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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out that it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby”, when babies wake up like every two hours? Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings, and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They are going to see you naked anyway… Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?.
