I am not a very patient person. If I have a gift that I am excited to give to someone, I have a terrible time waiting. When I have an idea to implement something new, I want to get started on it right away. And, if I have a conflict with someone, I am inclined to try to fix it immediately rather than give time and space.

To be honest, I believe my lack of patience is a result of my desire to be in control of the outcome. I am trying to manage someone’s joy with my gift. I want to do the project my way and ensure it's a success. I hope to smooth things over in conflict so that the other is happy with me or I receive what I feel like I deserve. I am not proud of this admission, but it feels true concerning my inner motive.

Recently, I had the opportunity to try ackee and saltfish, the national dish of Jamaica. Ackee is a fruit that when cooked takes on the flavor of whatever it is cooked with. I was able to try it with salt fish alone and with salt fish and greens. It is similar to scrambled eggs in appearance and consistency. I enjoy trying the native foods of the countries I visit.

However, the most interesting part of ackee to me is how it is harvested. Ackee releases a poisonous gas if opened too soon. The person cutting into the fruit before it is ready will become sick. Once the fruit is ripe and ready to be eaten, it will open on its own. Then, the seeds are removed and the fruit is ready to be prepared.

With this illustration, I am reminded how toxic my impatience can be. When I am not willing to trust the process and believe the outcomes will be what they are meant to be, I am operating out of a poisonous level of selfishness and self will. It does not serve me well when I struggle to control the outcomes of life.

I am only able to enjoy the full flavor of life when I am patient and allow experiences to unfold and people to respond. Living in acceptance of reality, allowing others to be exactly who they are and trusting all will be well are the key ingredients for a flavorful life in the new year.