Two older ladies, Dolly and Ruby, were talking about their grandchildren.

Dolly said, 'Each year I send each of my grandchildren a card with a generous check inside. I never hear from them... never receive a thank you message.”

Ruby replies, 'I too send my grandchildren a very generous check. I hear from them within a week after they receive it. In fact, they each pay me a personal visit.”

'Wow! How come? ” remarked Dolly.

'I don't sign the check!”

As I left the hardware store the other day, I was fumbling for my car keys and could not find them. They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. She's afraid that the car could be stolen.

As I looked around the parking lot, I realized she was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call to my wife: 'I left the keys in the car and it's been stolen'. There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected but then I heard her voice. 'Are you kidding me?' she barked, 'I dropped you off!!'

I said 'Well come and get me then'.

She retorted, 'I will as soon as I can convince this cop I didn't steal your car!!'