“Hey, Sven,” said Ole. “How many Swedes does it take to grease a combine?”

After Sven replied, “I don’t know,” Ole said, “Only two, if you run them through real slow.”

Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel.

“Have you eaten your banana yet?” Ole asked excitedly.

“No,” replied Lars. “Vell, don’t touch it den,” Ole exclaimed. “I yust took vun bite and vent blind!”

Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.

“Oh,” said Ole, “I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet.”

“How come?” asked Lars.

“Vell,” Ole answered, “because vith a clarinet she can’t sing.”

Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and said, “Are you a pole vaulter?”

Ole said, “No, I’m Norvegian… and my name isn’t Valter.”