“You have something in your teeth,” she says. A little embarrassed and annoyed, I attempt to remove the foreign object. How long have I been talking to people and smiling without anyone telling me? I am so grateful that she told me, that someone has my back, and that I can trust her to tell me the truth about myself.

In third grade, I wore a dress for picture day at a small country school in western Nebraska. The teacher gave the girls time to change into PE clothes before going outside for recess and PE. After running around and having fun with my friends, the girls returned to the bathroom to change back into regular clothes. As I was exiting the bathroom, a “friend” said, “Hey, Roxi!” (my nickname as a child) When I turned around with a “what?” she said, “Oh, nevermind.” With a shrug, I walked out of the girls bathroom and into the classroom of boys who had not needed the wardrobe change for PE.

I was surprised by the laughter that erupted from the room as I entered. Frozen in my tracks, I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. My country school teacher walked over to me and gently pulled my dress from my underwear. Grateful for her rescue and mortified beyond belief, I took my seat knowing that my “friend” in the bathroom had known but had decided not to tell me.

For every woman and girl in the world, I hope you find a tribe of women who are honest, authentic and real. Rather than having mean girls who talk behind a back, I believe everyone deserves to have people in her life that have her back, especially when your dress is tucked into your underwear. I want friends who I can trust to tell me the truth about myself, even if I feel embarrassed and annoyed. I cannot do better until I know what I cannot know in isolation.

While I can’t change the mean girl in the bathroom or even the snickering boys, I can choose how I show up with honesty. Ladies, I’ll tuck the tag into the back of your shirt, tell you when you have lipstick on your teeth, pull the proverbial dress out of your underwear, and tell you the truth about yourself. That’s what friends do.