ROXANNE CONVERSE-WHITING

This summer I visited the Four Corners. At a single unique moment, I was able to stand in Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, and Arizona. I could be physically present in four locations at one time.

Mentally, I often try to do this same feat. I attempt to watch TV, be on my phone and hold a conversation with the other person in the room. Or, I’ll check my email while working on a project on the computer and talking on the phone. The mental agility of multi-tasking is said to be a woman’s gift. However, trying to mentally be in multiple spaces at once simply creates mental exhaustion.

At the Four Corners, my crab-like stance allowed me to have a hand or foot in each of the four states while my body hovered over the center point of all four. The physical reality of that moment cannot be duplicated in the mental landscapes of my mind.

I am not able to ponder the past and worry about the future because it keeps me hovering over the present, not fully in it. When I am nostalgically remembering the past or feeling triggered by its pains and disappointments, I cannot fully reside in the present moment. When I am anticipating a future that hasn’t arrived or anxiously living through a future event in my mind, I can’t be grounded in the reality of now.

I will probably always be fascinated by standing at the Four Corners. I’ll enjoy straddling state or county lines and even crossing from one country into the next. It is the defying of the physical boundaries that entices me to prove I can do it. Yet, when it comes to defying mental boundaries, I must accept that it does not serve me well.

Mental multi-tasking cannot produce authentic relationships and genuine connections. Hovering between the past and the future doesn’t allow me to savor and embrace the fullness of the present moment. My kids used to say, “Mom’s in the zone” when I was mentally checked out. Sadly, I know it still happens to this day, but the good news is that I can choose again and give the moment in front of me my full attention.