I’m the life of the party — even if it lasts until 8 p.m.

I’m very good at opening childproof caps — with a hammer.

I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I’m smiling all the time, because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.

I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.

I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.

I’m beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps. Yes, I’m a senior citizen and I think I am having the time of my life!

A woman went into the office of a cemetery manager and complained, “I can’t find my husband’s grave. I know he’s buried here.”

“What’s his name?” Asked the manager. “Thomas Jackson,” she replied. Referring to a card index the manager said, “Madam, we have no listing for Thomas Jackson. We just have and Elizabeth Jackson.”

“That’s him,” she said. “Everything is in my name.”

My friend told me about a home COVID test. I’m going to share it with you so follow along as it might save your life.

Open a can of beer. Now, what you do is smell it. And then you taste it.

If you can smell it and taste it, you don’t have COVID.

I did the test 19 times last night and they all came back negative. Tonight, I’m going to do the test again because I woke up with a headache. I’m afraid I might be coming down with something.

I’m so nervous.