From the Collection of Pat Young

A young girl came home from a date looking sad. She told her mother, “Dan proposed to me a few minutes ago.”

“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked. “Because he also mentioned he was an atheist. He doesn’t believe in hell!”

Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”

A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport.

“These hills are getting steeper as the years go by,” one complained.

“These fairways seem to be getting longer, too,” said one of the others.

“The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them, too,” said the third senior.

After hearing enough from his senior buddies, the oldest and the wisest of the four at 87 years old, piped up and said, “Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we’re still on the RIGHT SIDE of the grass!”

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, “You know, I’ve been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!”

The other woman turned to her and said “I know! I heard it snoring!”

What’s the best thing about turning 65? No more calls from insurance salesmen.

“What’s wrong, sonny?” asked the old-timer sympathetically, coming over to the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart out.

“I’m crying ‘cause I can’t do what the big boys do!” So the old man sat down and wept, too.