A small boy was asked what he had been taught about the human body. This was the result: “Our body is divided into three parts, the brainium, the borax, and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, if any. The borax contains the lungs, lights and heart. The abdominal cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five: a, e, i, o and u.”

Not So Shipshape

Visitors were being shown around the battleship that had just arrived in port. The guide paused before a bronze plaque on the deck and with bowed head, said, “This is where our gallant captain fell.”

“Well, no wonder,” said one nervous old lady, “I nearly tripped over the damn thing myself!”

One Pain At a Time

“Jim,” said Henry to his neighbor, “I’ve just checked with Dr. Johnson about making me a set of dentures. My M.D. says all my teeth have gotta come out.”

“Dr. Johnson,” replied Jim, “happens to be my dentist.” “Yes, I know,” said Henry. “He says he made your plates about two years ago.”

“That’s right,” advised Jim. “By the way - how much did he charge you for them?” asked Henry.

“Two hundred dollars,” answered James. “That’s what he quoted me,” said Henry. “Incidentally, how do you like your plates?”

“Well, its like this,” said Jim, “the other day I went fishing. In trying for a long cast, I stood up in the boat, lost my balance and fell violently astraddle an oar lock. That was the first time in two years my teeth hadn’t hurt me!