* Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

* Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think "That can't b accurate."

* I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Teacher: Give me a sentence which includes the words: defence, defeat, detail.

Student: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go first and then detail.

* I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.

* Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time," isn't the correct response.

* I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

* Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS blurted out "You have reached your final destination."

* My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen and I have no clue where the music is coming from.

* Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling, and I'm still alive.