Barb Bierman Batie

Greetings from Germany! By the time this column reaches you, Hubby and I will be winging our way home from a wonderful nine days spent in Germany and Belgium.

We left last week to fly to Germany for the wedding of our 2012 IFYE to Nebraska from Germany, Chiara Wagner.

Although I had been an exchange student for six months back in 1980, I never got to go to a wedding. So the whole experience was new for both of us. While the logistics vary from family to family the Germans have three steps to getting married.

First you must have a civil ceremony. These can be performed at the local Rathaus (city hall) or in locations within the city where an official like a clerk magistrate presides. There is a ritual with a formal talk and much signing of papers – the Germans love having official paperwork.

The civil ceremony usually takes place two to three days before the church ceremony and in most areas is followed later in the day by a Polterabend. For the Polterabend the bride and groom’s families and friends gather, usually at the home of the groom’s parents, and they often bring polter – usually ceramic pieces, glass or lots of paper – to dump in the courtyard. The amount of polter varies, but before the party can begin the bride and groom must first use large brooms to push the polter to the side so the guests can enter the barn, garage or whatever building has been chosen to celebrate in.

Chiara and Nils had their civil ceremony on May 20 at the castle in Nils hometown of Waldeck and the Polterabend followed at his parent’s farm. Their friends surprised them with a carriage ride back from the castle, along with an escort of 15 tractors and some trucks. That was followed by a dance and tables and tables of food brought by the family and friends. Oh, and of course, lots of beer.

Because of the backlog of wedding celebrations due to COVID, Chiara couldn’t get her chosen reception venue until Sept. 2. So the church wedding was delayed until then as well. This worked out much better for us as we were still planting in May for the civil ceremony.

We stayed with the bride and groom at their house along with six of her IFYE friends (former exchange students) and their spouses or significant others because they have three apartments built onto their home. Through these apartments they operate an Airbnb-type tourist business.

On the day of the wedding we rode to the church in Chiara’s home village of Oberelsungen with the groom’s parents, Christel and Karl Schwalenstöcker. Keep in mind the roads in that area are very curvy and not always paved very well. So it was that we had a slow and careful drive while Christel held a two-tiered wedding cake for nearly half an hour, flinching at every bump.

There were huge sighs of relief when we pulled into the Wagner’s farmyard and were able to take the cake, along with the groom’s cake and stash them in the cooler to await the post-ceremony coffee hour.

German weddings are usually small, 50-75 guests, but both families have wide circles of friends so there were 130 who attended . About 75 showed up for the ceremony at the Lutheran church just two blocks from the Wagner farm and afterward we all walked back in a long procession with the bride and groom leading the way.

Villagers lined the streets to wave and clap and had signs on poster board congratulating the newlyweds. Cousins walked right ahead of the couple throwing out flower petals and some of the villagers had also put out petals in front of their houses to mark the occasion.

Since both Chiara and Nils come from farms, there was even a tractor parked outside the church with a huge sign congratulating the bride and groom. A cocktail hour with hors d’oeuvres, champagne, plenty of beverages, coffee and cake ensued.

About 5 p.m. we drove to the reception site in Naumberg. The tables were beautifully decorated and we visited at the “international table” which consisted of IFYEs and some of Chiara’s coworkers. Dinner consisted of a huge buffet filled with five different kinds of German meat specialties, potatoes, green beans, seven salads and of course there was plenty of wine, beer and water to go around for everyone.

There were the traditional toasts and for this wedding everyone was provided a small bottle of Hochzeit Schnapps (wedding schnapps) to turn upside down, tap on the table and then back upright to open and drink. There was a speech by the bride’s father and talks by the bride and groom. Then on to the Spielen (games), which precede the dance. The couple didn’t have their first dance until 10 p.m. and the party lasted well past midnight.

We oldsters however, left with a pre-arranged shuttle driven by one of the neighbors shortly after midnight. We didn’t turn into pumpkins, but gratefully tumbled into bed to rest up for more adventures. Till next week!