Lindsay Lohan might have made “mean girls” a well-used descriptor in 2004, but people have been experiencing meanness in junior high or high school for decades.

When one feels the social pull to fit in with the crowd or to exclude someone who is not like them, she might refer to it iconicly as being in junior high again.

As an adult, I wish I could say that we have put away childish things. However, I still meet the occasional mean girl or mean guy.

And, the pain felt as an adult is still real. I found out recently that an acquaintance called me “twinkle toes” when talking about having to work with me on a project.

The tone was sarcastic and the message clear. And, I allowed it to hurt me.

The bright side of the story is that I’m not in junior high any longer.

I am an adult who has grown up, matured and learned a few skills to help me maneuver situations like this better than I did when I was 13.

I recently stood on the top of a 45 foot platform connected to a zipline. The only way down was to step off. I was terrified of the fall and getting hurt. That fear seemed bigger than the connection I had to the harness and the zipline. I had seen other people safely complete the task, yet at that moment I doubted my own ability.

Being able to stay on that platform forever is as feasible as being liked by everyone.

At some point, I must realize that being vulnerable, authentic and genuine may mean that people don’t like me and I get hurt. However, the connection I have to my Creator, to myself and to my inner circle of people is strong enough to hold me. Doubting myself because of someone else’s perception or opinion is not an option. His behavior is about him, not about me.

The feeling of stepping off that platform and ziplining through the air was one of freedom, strength, exhilaration and pride. It is also available to me when I let go of seeking people’s approval. That’s what I didn’t know in junior high.