Painless Dentistry

“Jim,” said Henry to his neighbor. “I’ve just checked with Dr. Johnston about making a set of dentures. My M.D. says all my teeth have gotta come out.”

“Dr. Johnston happens to be my dentist,” replied Jim.

“Yes, I know,” said Henry. “He says he made your plates about two years ago.”

“That’s right.”

“By the way, how much did he charge you for them?” Henry asked.

“Two hundred dollars,” Jim replied.

“That’s what he quoted me. Incidentally, how do you like your plates?”

“Well, it’s like this. The other day I went fishing. In trying for a long cast, I stood up in the boat, lost my balance and fell violently astraddle an oar lock. That was the first time in two years my teeth hadn’t hurt me!”

A Nautical Poem

Here lies the bones of Sailor Jack, Who shipwrecked on an isle.

With six red-headed chorus girls, Remained for quite a while.

He did not die from tropic foods, Nor from a poisoned cup.

He just wore out from tearing down, The signals they put up!