With a population of just under two million, it isn’t hard in Nebraska to find just one, maybe two degrees of separation with a good chunk of the state’s residents. This follows the six degrees of separation theory in which it is believed using the “friend of a friend” connection that in six steps or less you can make a connection to anyone on the planet.

This is especially true in most Nebraska towns with populations under 10,000 as those communities were often settled by two to four families and over the years as the children grew and married, they would connect with other families.

While not always directly related, you often find yourself attending the same weddings and funerals because Aunt Mary and Uncle John’s sister-in-law or brotherin- law were from your neighborhood, or their children were your best friends in school. Hence the term “wedding and funeral family.”

Sadly, we’ve had more than our share of funeral family meetings lately. So recently we were at the funeral of a long-time neighbor, sharing with her grandchildren the “wedding and funeral family concept.”

Her son was one of Hubby’s best friends in high school and the grandchildren were all in our 4-H club. The connection came because Don’s aunt had married into this family and so while not directly related, we have been to most of the family weddings and of course funerals.

The same happens to me anytime we go to my hometown of Battle Creek. My great-grandmother was a descendant of one of the founding families and my great-grandfather was among the earlier settlers so when the two married they cemented our on-going connection with nearly half the town. Then when my paternal aunt and uncle married a brother and sister from one of the older families that settled south of Battle Creek we were connected with even more of the community.

So, whenever my cousins got together, because they were double cousins we were often included in those gatherings as well. It can be rather confusing to a youngster to see your cousins having fun with their cousins, but those cousins aren’t your cousins.

I can remember when Juliana and Cicely were young and we would go to some family gatherings and another set of preschoolers were there almost all the time they were actually upset that Ross and Haley weren’t their cousins, even though they were cousins to Abbie and Griff. When we hit upon using the “wedding and funeral” family explanation they were finally satisfied.

This also means in smaller communities you never speak ill of anyone at any time. One of my newspaper editors who grew up in a large metropolitan area in Ohio was simply baffled when handing out assignments to find how many people in town my husband was related to.

“Can you call up to the high school and find out if they’ve selected the homecoming candidates yet?”

Sure, I’d reply. “Don’s cousin is the office assistant.” “Can you track down information on this irrigation issue?”

“Sure, Don’s cousin is head of Nebraska Water Users.”

After about the fourth time of this type of exchange, she exclaimed, “Is there anybody in town you’re not related to?!!!”

No Jill, probably not. It’s all about the “wedding and funeral” family.