These are from a book called, “Disorder in the Court.” These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters. How did they keep from laughing while these were all taking place?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition that I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, ok? A: Ok. Q: What school did you go to? A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive practicing law somewhere.