It is almost “Game Time!” By the time you read this article we will have already had a couple of varsity contests to start the year. In this month’s Superintendent’s Corner, I am going to share a little bit of my philosophy about being an interscholastic activity fan. I have been a lover of sports for as long as I can remember and I have had the opportunity to play, coach, and cheer for both winning and losing teams. If you have read this far, I am sure you are thinking that we are going to retrace every ra-ra talk about sportsmanship you have ever heard. While I do think sportsmanship is very important, that is not the direction I am really heading.

Being involved in activities and specifically sports activities has been touted as the way to learn confidence, teamwork, work ethic, humility, grit, etc. The list truly goes on and on. Unfortunately, I have seen in too many cases that this isn’t an automatic with team sports. I think there are as many kids who have negative sports experiences as there are with positive ones. So, what are the essentials to having this transformational sports experience? You might be surprised, but it isn’t winning that is the deciding factor. No one is going to argue that winning is more fun than losing, but there are plenty of kids on winning teams that struggle to learn the essential lessons sports are supposed to be teaching them.

There are a couple of foundational tenants that are essential to the sports experience. The first is the kids' level of care. A student athlete must be emotionally invested in the sport they are participating in. Two essential emotions to building character are only truly felt if you care. True joy and real pain. Pain can come in many forms. Missing the big shot, not having your name announced as a starter, not getting your varsity uniform after all of your hard work, etc. When you are truly invested these experiences hurt badly. As parents we want to come to the rescue, but sometimes our intervention actually hinders the growth opportunity. How a student responds in tough situations now are the building blocks for how they will handle adversity down the road. We have to let kids feel the pain, handle the pain, and grow from the pain. It is incredibly hard as a parent to support without solving and care for without defending. Just remember that we can either make our kids stronger or we can protect them longer.

The other foundational emotion is true joy. Kids have to experience the rush of the winning goal. The pride of being chosen. This feeling is the fuel that motivates student athletes to put forth their best efforts. All the lessons of sport are based on the contestant trying their absolute hardest in pursuit of the goal. As I have said I have been on the winning and losing end of games in Memorial Stadium, I have held the ladder for kids to cut down the nets at conference or district basketball. But the same joy you see at the pinnacle of success you see in the faces and celebrations of the team that wins its first game of the season at the end of said season. Joy is there to capture in every team and in every sport.

The next foundational tenant for kids to learn the lessons that sport has to offer is trusted, invested, capable adults who truly understand that relationship building is the keystone to transformational experience. There is a coaching theory called 4-D coaching that explains the role of a coach very well. In the first dimension, when there is no relationship between the athlete and the coach the coach focuses on teaching conditioning. Physical condition is like the foundation for the house and must be established for the next levels. As you work through the different dimensions of coaching, the relationship of the athlete and coach continues to evolve.

In the second level the coach teaches the athlete the skills of the sport. The competitor must have the fundamentals of their sport in order to be successful, but it is only the second step in the pursuit of potential. Dimension three is for the coach to teach the athlete's brain. The athlete should understand the why’s of scheme and play design. They should understand game and time situations, they should understand the strengths and weaknesses of their teammates, and they should understand their own limitations. Most coaches are usually stuck at one of the first three levels of 4-D coaching and we feel pretty lucky if our kids have a coach who is operating in level three. What we actually desire is the coach in level 4 who is coaching the soul/spirit of the athlete.

Every now and then we get to work with or for a coach who truly helps to mold the character of a young athlete. They teach virtue, work ethic, leadership, and most importantly they teach the athlete how to maximize the impact they have in the world around them. As a high school athlete, I was incredibly lucky to have a couple of coaches who epitomized the four dimensions of coaching and I believe I am who I am today because of them.

So, as we buckle up for a great year of Bobcat activities what part do we play in our kids’ experience? We should celebrate the joys as they happen. We should suffer with them without rushing to minimize or eliminate the pain. And we should be thankful for the adults who coach and care deeply for our kids and their experiences. Even when they have to make decisions that we don’t agree with.