My family has always loved to do puzzles. Typically a table or large board is set up during the holidays for everyone to join in. As a child, it could only hold my attention for short periods but I loved the thrill of finding a piece that belonged. That small sense of accomplishment would reinvigorate my attention and motivate me to keep looking for another.

However, at times, the struggle to find a puzzle piece that belonged with the ones I was working on would become too long and tedious. I would sometimes find a piece that looked like it should fit, but didn’t. Even after picking up the same piece multiple times to try it yet again, it was still apparent that the edges did not belong together. In my childlike way, I would glance quickly around before forcing the piece into place and walking away. While the piece was in place, I didn’t have the sense of satisfaction because I knew I was forcing the fit.

I recently read a quote in Brené Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart, “Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else. If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in.”

I am struck by how much this distinction represents my experience in life. Whether it was family, friendships, the work place, or a faith tradition, I have struggled in my life to feel a sense of belonging. For many years, I didn’t understand why. Reading Brené’s quote allowed the pieces of the puzzle to come together.

I had lacked a sense of belonging to myself; therefore, I was always working to fit in. I hustled for my worth and lived like a chameleon who tried to blend in with whatever setting in which I found myself. No matter how many times I tried to force myself into place, my edges could not belong until I was able to define and accept the puzzle piece I was created to be. In becoming completely myself, I find where I belong.

Wherever I am, I belong because I am with me. And, my motivation is reinvigorated to look for pieces in my life that allow me to belong by being myself.