An Udder Kind

“Oh what a lovely cow,” said the cute young miss from the city. “But why hasn’t it any horns?”

There are many reasons,” replied the farmer. “Some cows do not have horns until later in life. Others have them removed, while still other breeds are born without them. This one doesn’t have horns because it is a horse.”

Lament

I love my bifocals, my dentures fit fine. My hearing aides are lovely.

But I do miss my mind.

What He Wanted

A man rushed into the police station, breathless with hurry and excitement. The inspector in charge regarded him gravely for a minute.

“They say you caught the man who broke in my house?” gasped the visitor.

“That’s right,” answered the inspector. “Do you want to see him?”

“Yes,” replied the other excitedly. “You see, he managed to get in the house without waking my wife, and that's what I’ve been trying to do for the last 10 years.”