These thoughts put a smile on my face, thought I’d pass the smile on to you.

1. Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

2. I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

3. If it weren’t for STRESS I’d have no energy at all.

4. Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

5. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

6. Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

7. We cannot change the direction of the wind… but we can adjust our sails.

8. Some days are a total waste of makeup.

9. Do you believe in love at first sight… or should I walk by you again?

10. If the shoe fits… buy it in every color.

11. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

12. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

13. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

14. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

15. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

16. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

17. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

18. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.