A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”

“Go away!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money!” and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

“Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

“If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.” The old lady stepped back and said, “Well I hope you’ve got a damned good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning.”

More Thoughts to Make You Smile

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move ends.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

Don’t let your worries get the best of you, remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.